This dream surprised me!! It's been years since I've had any thoughts of shoplifting, and in this dream I was myself, as I am today. So, Sit back and enjoy this piece of literary work!!  

I was at the shops with two of the girls I work with, admiring and trying on clothes. At this point, I had every intention of purchasing the shirt I was trying on. I left the change room, wearing my purchase, heading for the check out register. I knew the clerk would need to scan the price tag, so I asked my friends to help me pull the tag off the shirt. One of them reached into the back of my shirt and pulled the tag free!!

(unbeknownst to the clerk, I was hiding a $150 dollar bottle of perfume in my handbag)

She proceeded to scan the price tag and then turned to me and blatantly accused me of shop lifting other items of clothing. I agreed to a full body and bag search, allowing the clerk full access. Upon her completed search, I became belligerent, and went ballistic at the accusations. (purchasing the shirt was of course, a cover up, a ruse)

When the clerk was satisfied and I was finished with my tyrant, I boldly asked for the Store Manager. The Manager approached me and I insisted on a letter of apology. I offered to wait in the pub across the street. 

As I exited the shopping centre, a group of friends approached, headed up by an old working acquaintance. They all wanted to find out what had happened. I explained that it was a fabricated lie from the stores clerk. 

I proceeded across the street to wait at the pub. Upon approaching the door,  Mr. B and his ex-wife appeared and greeted me at the door. The Ex entered the door ahead of me, while Mr. B held the door open for me. As I entered the doors threshold, Mr. B bent down and planted a very loving kiss on my lips. My eyes flew open in surprise, because the kiss felt genuine, normal, like it's was meant to happen. My reaction was the true surprise. 

I quickly recovered and got my emotions in check and proceeded to follow the Ex. Mr. B walked slightly to my left side with his right hand in the small of my back, until we reached the table. 

Once at the table, I expected him to sit next to me. He moved around to the opposite side of the table, which had him sitting directly across from me, but also meant that he was sitting next to his Ex. His eyes never left my face and the weight of his stare started to feel uncomfortable, resulting in me blushing. I avoided eye contact with him which let my eyes wonder around the room. 

I noticed for the first time, that the Ex's mother was sitting near us at another table, her eyes were glued on Mr. B, watching him gaze at me. This revelation added to my embarrassment causing my blush to crimson. 

Upon no response from his boring stare at me, he proceeded to initiate a conversation. His first statement was "I think your blog is a good idea" (I know this man, and I would NEVER, ever think that he thought my blog was a good idea, my subconscious is lying to me!!)

That's when he turns to his Ex and suggests that she starts a blog to express herself!! (if looks could kill, then she gave him the death stare)

[Now this is where my dream gets strange]

I left the Pub, heading back to the Store to retrieve my letter but found myself in the back kitchen area of a restaurant or a take away shop of sorts. This kitchen area was "Dripping" with cooking oil. Even the cook had cooking oil dripping like water droplets from the tendrils of his already greasy hair. My stomach churned with vial and the feel of vomit wet my mouth. The nauseated feeling engulfed me. I quickly bolted for the door or any escape I could find. 

As I exited the swinging kitchen doors, I noticed at my feet, approximately knee height, a baby rhinoceros. It's felt to me like he was escaping so I tried to grab him by the collar. Sort of like you would grab your pet dogs collar. Well, the Rhino wasn't wearing a collar (of course that would be to easy for my subconscious) I felt a bit scared like I was a child going to get yelled at for opening the door for the damn thing to escape. 

The Rhino seemed to know where he was going and headed towards tables in the restaurant/pub. That's when he plopped down on a mat under a table, like that was his mat. The feeling I got as I watched him do this was a "Cheers" bar scenario "where everybody knows your name". The people at the tables seem quite comfortable with the fact that a rhino was sleeping like a pet dog under their table on it's mat. 

I proceeded on my way when an "Old" drunk guy grabbed my arm for stability, I made a witty comment about having a beautiful lady on his arm, to which he replied with an equally witty remark about a handsome man on my arm. I thought "tu sha"!! 

Without pausing, I broke free of his hold an headed towards the exit. That's where I ran into trouble. The door wouldn't budge. I was pushing with all my might when a huge dog appeared at my back. I thought the dog was there to help. (I thought he was gonna help shove the door open, by pushing my back, for added strength)  

That's when I felt his wet tongue, lap across my butt cheeks. I was instantly shocked. I stopped heaving on the door and turned to face this fuckin mutt with my fists balled and ready to deck him. I felt so angry that I could feel the heat coming out of my ears. (picture a mad cartoon character and white steam pouring from their ears) that was me at this moment. 

The patrons in the pub began bantering and laughing, like the dog had done this in a sexual manor. Which added to my ire. 

I managed to exit and head back to the table, where I had left Mr. B and his Ex. I was so angry, I allowed myself to look at Mr. B. He was wearing 2 hats. A beaked baseball cap under a straw cowboy hat. This vision caused all my anger to dissolve and I couldn't contain my laugh's. I burst into laughter.

I muffled my laughter when the waiter arrived with a plate of chips. (not crispy potato chips, hot French fried chips) that's when the vision of the grease dripping kitchen re-entered my mind churning my stomach. I pushed the plate away before I gagged!! 

This ended my dream. I consulted my "Dream Catcher" for a diagnosis. I'm just going to list them for you, I believe the greasy chips and the kitchen covered in grease represents my diet!!

Shoplifting= Dreaming that you are a thief, indicates much unpleasantness in your social life and distress in your business. You may also be overstepping your boundaries.

Being accused=Dreaming that you are being accused of something, demonstrates that you are feeling guilty. It may also mean that you are having some doubts about yourself and the choices you are making.

Old friends=Seeing your friends in your dream, indicates aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself.

Apologies=is a representative of truth and forgiveness. It is time to let go of grudges.
  
Open door=Dreaming that you are entering through a door, indicates new opportunities that will be presented before you. You are entering into a new stage in your life and moving from one level of consciousness to another.

The Kiss=Dreaming of a kiss, means love, affection, tranquillity, harmony, and contentment. 

Blushing=Dreaming that you blush, demonstrates that you want to be more expressive and loving. 

Cooking oil=Seeing oil in your dream suggests a need to have thing run more smoothly. You may need to show more love and compassion in your life. 

Rhino=Seeing a rhinoceros in your dream suggests that you need to forge ahead toward your goals and do not take "no" for an answer. Do not let any obstacles sidetrack you from your destination. You need to be more aggressive.

Dog=Seeing a dog in your dream, indicate a skill that you have ignored or forgotten, but needs to be activated. Alternatively, dogs may symbolise intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. Your own values and intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and succeed.

Hat=Seeing a hat in your dream, indicates that you are concealing something or covering up something. Alternatively, it may represent the role you play or the responsibilities you have in life.

[Well fuck, this dream is starting to sound like I've got a shit load of problems, lol. I'm gonna stop with the definitions, cause this is getting depressing, enjoy!!!]