This morning, while I was exiting the working compound, I was greeted by the "Fresh Faced" Azul Shift. 

I quickly spotted my 'Best Friend', Goddess if the Earth!! We conversed quickly, and I explained that I was going to see the 'Wizard of Weight Watchers' today and I was scared because I hadn't watched my food intake that closely this week, and I was expecting a gain.  

She offered me a solution, in the form of a 'Healthy Green Tea' that would make me "Shit through the Eye of a Needle". However, she explained that I would need 2 days at home after ingesting this 'Magic' solution.    

I explained that I need to take it before I weighed in, and I weigh in on a working day. I told her I'm gonna give it a go this weekend, to see what kind of a reaction I will have. I'll probably be doing 'Cartwheels' to the toilet, but if I can manage it, then next Wednesday night, I'll drink some that night before my Thursday 'Weight Date'. (if you happen to be working with me on Wednesday night shift and see me sprinting for the toilet door......."Get the Fuck out of my way"!! Lol)

I've consulted a few people re: this 'Healthy Green Tea' and I believe it to be sound advise that 1) I need to be VERY close to the toilet facilities and 2) I'm gonna need a couple days near the toilet facilities (don't worry, I'm not planning a camping trip, lol)

I headed home elated and horney, after spending the entire night lusting over a 'Man Menu' that I can not order from. 
My elation, was knowing that I would be sitting at this 'Restaurant Table' browsing from this 'Man Menu' again tonight!! (God I love my G-Unit!!)

I crashed into bed the second I entered my bedroom. I didn't even say "Hello" to my dog, who was patiently waiting for some love, just at the edge of my carpet. (she knows better than to step paw onto my carpet, she doesn't want to end up in the 'Dog House'!! Literally)

I set an alarm, which was rendered useless!! I overslept it, AND it's "Snooze" function. (I must have been very tired, cause Pinky knows I would never, purposefully let her down with a 'No-Show') 

I was awaken by the vibrating sound of my phone on the bedside table. Thank God Pinky decided to phone me and see if I was still coming to 'Weight Watchers'.

Sadly, I was late, but only by a few minutes. I hopped on the scales and was surprised that I had lost the 300 grams that I had gained the week before. (Im thinking: They say 'Weight Watchers' is a life choice.......more like it's gonna take a "Life Time" to lose my weight!!)

I hurried home after 'Weight Watchers' because I had a "Play Date" with my hubby. I opened the door and there he sat on the couch, with his shorts unbuttoned. My first thought is "he's not waisting any time" then as I glanced downwards towards his undone zipper, I noticed he wasn't wearing any undies. WELL!! I burst into laughter!! In all the years we've been married he has never been "THAT READY" for sex. I think I bruised his ego, cause he seemed a bit "Off".

I noticed his reserved behaviour and I made a point to pull him close and stroke his ego (I bet all you filthy minded people are thinking......."I bet she was really stroking something else" but NO, I was cuddling him and making him feel special. Just what a wife is supposed to do) 

With the 'Wifely Duties' out of the way, I headed back to bed. I snuggled up in my bed feeling extremely accomplished and euphoric!! (An orgasm can have a very sedative effect, that why I suggest all 'Night Shift' workers should be " Fucking" regularly, so they can sleep!! Lol) (Once again just call me "Doctor Dessie"!! Lol)

[Please Note: this is a humorous, fictitious piece of literature meant to make you laugh or make you go hum?  This is not based on any fact. I hope you enjoy this little story, because a "Story" is what it is!! Remember to pass along my web address and invite others to enjoy it at http://dessiesdiaryblog.yolasite.com PLEASE DO NOT PRINT THIS MATERIAL