dessiesblog

What do Men really Want?

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 12:48:36 +0100

It's been a while since I last blogged, but a few things has happened this past week that has raised some concerns and does not sit well with me.

First of all, what do men really want from their wives? And secondly, should they get everything they want?

My life used to be very sedative because of a massive weight problem, but thanks to a life saving operation, I am now overly social and very active. I visit my local women's gym almost daily, and sometimes twice a day.

When I was obese, I used to spend my entire day sitting in front of my computer, only getting up to eat and use the toilet. I remember my husband complaining about me "sitting on my fat ass all day" he would say. He seemed very angry about that, but didn't seem to mind that I was a virtual recluse. (I think he rather enjoyed it actually).

In 2001, I had a Gastric By-pass operation which gave me a massive weight loss of 104 kilos and boosted my ego tremendously. (There's no stopping me now) The fact that I now go out daily seems to bother my husband to no end. He's always complaining that I'm never home. (is that a good thing or a bad thing? who knows!! But I'm enjoying myself)

My argument to his complaint is, I'm not the maid around our house!! Why should I have to clean the house, do the dishes, and do all the washing? Who the hell decided it was the wife's job? (I say "FUCK THEM")

His reply is that I'm the "Wife" and that it's "My Job"... Well, NO, it's not my job... I travel 1 hour (plus) everyday to my job and I bring home a pay packet too... Who the hell decided it's my job, I'll never know!!

I know for a fact that the priest who married us did not say it was my "JOB" as the wife, he just said I had to "Love, Honour, and Cherish, for better or worse, until death do us part"... He didn't say I was the slave for the next 30-40 years... FFS!!

So in order to calm my husband, I made him a proposition. I said either 1) I'm the slave/wife, who cooks and cleans, all the time and is too tired for anything else, or 2) I'm the wife who, goes out, keeps busy/active, but fucks his brains out whenever his dick gets hard!!

Why should he have both? What do I get out of this deal. Well, I want a million dollars to spend....... do you think he can give me that? HELL NO!! Therefore, he's NOT getting everything he wants either... UNTIL DEATH DO US PART, Mudafuka!!

This blog is dedicated to the Asshole I'm sometimes married too!!

Open marriages, Yey or Nay?

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 15:40:20 +0100

I remember the day I stood in front of the priest and said my marriage vows, I had no idea that I was promising to end my sexual appetite and remain faithful for what now seems like an eternity.

I used hear the saying "Love is Blind" and think it meant that you could fall in love with anyone, even an unattractive person. Now I believe that the saying means that you will not clearly see the future until it's your distant past.

As I grow older, I've realised that one of the worst things about being married is the promise of celibacy. I honestly believe that people (men in particular) are NOT destined to be celibate. Yes there's a special someone, until that specialness wears off and your left with a partner that you have to look at and go to bed with every night that isn't special anymore. If your partner is a person you like, then it's may be a bearable union, BUT, if you look at your partner and realise that you don't like them, or even enjoy their company, this can lead to a very unhappy marriage.

I'm writing this blog because I believe that even happy marriages shouldn't be celibate. Maybe one day in the future it will be acceptable and even fashionable to take a wife or husband for marriage and partnership but enjoy the sexual pleasures of not only that person but anybody else that you desire without any of the cheating consequences.

I also believe that there's a massive difference between sex and love. Most adults can differentiate between the two. You CAN love someone and go home to that person day in and day out. BUT, love can get boring and the sex can become monotonous.

The kind of union I'm describing is called and "Open Marriage". This type of marriage usually has to be agreed upon by both partners for it to be a success otherwise it considered cheating. If I had my marriage to do all over again, I think I would enter into it with a partner who would agree to an open marriage.

A Lot Happened!!

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 14:44:16 +0100

As you readers can see, I went on a 9 week holiday and blogged twice......your probably thinking I had nothing to say.......WRONG!! I've got plenty to say, but I didn't feel like spending my precious holiday time writing about it!! (Not to mention that having access to WiFi was a complete nightmare!!)

So, we made it home but not without a few hick-ups. A lost relationship between me and my sons girlfriend was the most noticeable. I'm pretty sure I've burnt that bridge to the ground!! (Update: as of December we have apologised to each other and we are spending Christmas at her Nan's house for which I'm happy about)

Now that I'm home and relieved to be sleeping in my own bed, I'm finding it hard to sleep. I've been going to bed at 8pm since returning and I'm waking up between 2am & 3am.

It's not really bothersome, except I got called back to work for my first shift and was overtired. (Not good)

Me being overtired, made for a very quiet Dessie. Of course that didn't stop the gossiping.

I happened to be given a special task by my superior, and was only following orders, but of course this riled a few peoples feathers and that ignited the Chinese whispers.

I'm wondering if these people just have nothing better to do or need to find more work that occupies their free time.

I'm going to have to see how this pans out, because I've decided not let these busybodies attack my ego and wear my optimism down!!

On the subject of optimism and throughout the day, I was asked several times why I didn't apply for the advertised contracted positions. I explained that I wasn't comfortable with the contract conditions and that they didn't suit my needs.

It's amazing how some people can't grasp this. I'm am desperate for a full time job but I'm a FIRM believer that if it's meant to be, it will happen.

I'm going to find the right job, at the right time, that's just right for me, PERIOD.

Fresno Crack House

Mon, 04 Oct 2010 17:38:30 +0100

When we woke up in at our Fresno California motel room, we realised that the motel rooms had a terrible smell and we had rented in the local drug house, you have never seen so many Australians move so fast......it was funny. We bee-lined it out of there and hit the road to our next destination of Tulelake, California.

Of course the drive to Tulelake's was longer than I expected, with the amount of stops we had to make for food, and the extra toilet breaks, the day seemed to drag on in the car.

We arrived at my husbands relatives house and they were all very excited to see us. We were so tired that we decided that we would go to another relatives house to sleep for the night. It was a much needed sleep.

The next two days we spent organising the final details of my daughters Quincernera.

The Quincernera wen't of without a hitch, with over 250 family in attendance......It was absolutely beautiful and my daughter looked gorgeous!!

From Tulelake we pulled out heading to Las Vegas, Nevada!! The excitement in the van was rope-able!! I think Las Vegas is one of the places everybody really wants to see besides New York!!!

Our Vegas stay is 5 days, so I'll have lots of things to report!!

Travelling Tired

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 07:27:05 +0100

Our early arrival to the airport, made for a very smooth check in (minus the practical joke my son played on me). We managed to get everybody's boarding passes, then headed over to the food court for a small snack. Not knowing wether we will be served a meal on a 3 hour flight, we didn't want to risk it.

About 1 hour later, it was time to make our way to the gate. We took about 20 photo's at the Departure Gate and then the tears began flowing. This was the first overseas trip for a few people in our group and their parents were worried. I assured them I would take good care of everyone, then we passed through the departure gate doors. All my nerves seamed to disappeared and settle. (Can you hear me sighing with relief?)

The general boarding began and it felt like we were never going to get going. We settled into our seats and you could feel the excitement from everyone including myself. Our plane took off successfully and we settled in for a nice 3 hour flight to our first destination which was Auckland, New Zealand.

We arrived in Auckland and made our way to the International Transit Lounge. We had a very small 55 minute lay-over. We managed to sit down and almost immediately we began boarding the 747 which would take us to our second destination of Los Angeles. This flight seemed to drag on and on!!

We landed in Los Angeles and the fun began. I felt like Mother duck, guiding her ducklings to the pond. Everyone grabbed their own bags and we head for the street to catch the shuttle to our Rent-A-Car place. As we arrived at the street, we just barely missed the shuttle we needed. Everyone seemed upset but I assured them that another one would be along in a matter of a few minutes. (Thank god the shuttle didn't let me down)

We boarded the shuttle and with the amount of people, and bags, this took about 5 minutes. We finally arrived at the Rent-A-Car counter and of course, things couldn't run smoothly. Our paperwork was missing. The lady helping us was very courteous and apologies for this mix-up so I couldn't get angry at her for the hold up. I was just tired and really wanted to hit the road to our 3 destination of Tulelakes California.

We managed to pull out of the Rent-A-Car place approximately 2 hours late. I basically know my way around LA and I managed to get us to the Freeway we needed to take north bound to Tulelakes. We drove for aproxiamately 5 hours and I was so tired that I couldn't continue and we decided to find the nearest motel and spend the night. We pulled into Fresno California and hit the pillow.

Our 'Trip of a Life Time' has begun

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 06:50:15 +0100

I managed to wake up at 6am and I immediately moved myself into travel mode. I rechecked my packed bags, made my bed, moved the bags to our driveway for our pick-up. That's when I realised that I forgot my prescription contacts, so I quickly jumped into the shower and dashed off to the optometrist.

This trip to the shops should have been quick, but of course I decided it would be a good time to run to work and grab my payslip (I wanted to check my pay before I departed the country).

I managed to pull into the drive with 5 minutes to spare before our pick-up ride arrived!!

I made a mad dash to turn off all the appliances at the wall and made sure all the window locks were locked into place. (there's more preparation than meets the eye, when traveling for an extended period)

We cruised along the M5 freeway without any unexpected obstacles Including very light traffic......which is a miracle in itself.

We arrived at the Departure Roadside drop off zone, with a 3 hours and 30 minutes window before departure, when my phone rang......it was my eldest son, inquiring where I was. I explained where I was, and he decided to play a practical joke on me. He told me that our plane was checking in now and boarding an hour early. I FREAKED!! Then the 8 of us made a mad dash to the check-in counter, only to find it empty, and my eldest laughing!! I could have rung his neck!!

Homeward Bound

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 06:46:45 +0100

Here I sit, on the edge of my bed, unable to sleep on our last night. The anticipation to 'Get the Show on the Road' is now starting to piss me off.

I've managed to finish all my packing and lay out an outfit for me to travel in. As I was deciding what I was going to wear, I received the cutest call from one of my travel companions. This is her first trip overseas, and she was inquiring about what she should wear.

I couldn't tell her what's best for her, but I did give her some travel tips I use and let her know that I like to travel in comfortable clothes and either my slippers or runners.

On international flights my feet always tend to swell a bit and if I wear proper dress shoes, then when we land, I can't fit my feet into them. I always joke to my husband that we're going to Disneyland and my feet are already starting to resemble 'Minnie Mouse's'......(it's gives me a laugh, lol)

This swelling must be a byproduct of sitting upright for more than 16 hours. When I make this trans-Atlantic trip, I always make sure to drink extra water, but this extra fluids isn't any more or less water then I usually drink. I just seem to feel like I'm extra dehydrated and it tends to pool in my feet!!

I resigned myself and decided that's there's nothing else I can do to change my situation, so I laid my head to the pillow and let the sleep consume me, for tomorrow (well in 10 hours anyways) I'm traveling to my 'Homeland'!!

Building Excitement

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 06:44:15 +0100

For the past 188 days, I have been counting down to a holiday I have marked as "A Trip of a Life Time". The countdown now stands at 2 days and I feel like I'm in an suspended state.

The days are trickling down to my departure date, but nothing is moving around me. I haven't even packed!!

I have retrieved the suitcases from the garage and they are currently sitting in my front room waiting. Waiting for me to pack them but I'm not sure why I'm waiting. Maybe I think that this chore isn't going to take much time so I'm procrastinating.

I've managed to catch up on most of my housework but even this seem to be a frivolous chore!!

The excitement of this trip is building, I can feel it, I can sense it, but I have no control of how I feel.

I started this blog yesterday and here I am, sitting on the edge of my bed unable to sleep on our last night. This is the feeling that I don't like when I'm about to travel. You feel so excited that it makes you feel a bit sick. I started this blog but really I feel so sick that I just want to stop writing and just go to bed but my mind wont let me. It's very frustrating.

Deadly Sin

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 06:38:31 +0100

Invidiousness AKA ENVY, occurs when a person lacks another's (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it." This is the term for ENVY that I found in the dictionary. After reading it, I can definitely say that this seems to be the emotion that I see being displayed.

Envy also derives from low self-esteem, resulting from an upward social comparison threatening a person's self image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important. If the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly INTENSE, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been he or she who had the desired object.

Recently I've felt victimised by what I can only seem to identify as ENVY. What my abuser doesn't know is that I've been educated to recognise this behaviour.

I find it hard to understand why some people I come across seem to treat me as if i have some of these (perceived) qualities......I am no better or worse than a one else I know.

I can't be sure but, I try to act the same with my friends, as I do with anyone else I come in contact with. I think I'm genuinely friendly to everyone I spend time with, regardless of how they treat me.

I'm pretty easy going and I'm positive that I don't have any underlying ulterior motives. I like to have a chat to most people who are approachable and I don't mind what we speak about. I have an opinion on just about anything and I have the ability to 'Speak my mind freely'!!

I guess some people don't like to hear what is on your mind......they rather you keep quiet and keep your opinions to yourself. Well I can assure you, I'm not that type of person who can keep my opinions to myself!!

I can say with most certainty that I get on peoples nerves because I'm boisterous and sometimes over the top. My honesty can offend but that's what makes me who I am!! I'm not a liar and if someone asked me to tell a lie, I'm positive that my guilt would have me confessing in a heartbeat!!

I know everyone we come in contact with is not going to like you, but it would be nice if they didn't 'like you' to your face, yet bitch about you behind your back!! I'm not one to hold a grudge, so if someone pisses me off today, I can turn around tomorrow and be their best friend.......like wiping the slate clean!!

Living with hatred in your heart and holding on to anger will most definitely send to your grave early......it's so much easer to be happy and easygoing......but these qualities can be envied!!

FUCK YOU CANCER!!

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 10:48:20 +0100

Why when we're given bad news by the doctors we automatically think the worst? Is the "Cancer" word really a death sentence?

I think as we age, secretly we sit back with the anticipation of death to come knocking on our door.

The problem as I see it, is, age is relative!! If you look old, and you feel old, then by God, we must be old!!

Our minds are so freely open to accept that we are old. I think if you are old in your mind, then it's much easier to accept that it might be time to die. Maybe by the time we accept we're old, our body isn't in any condition to put up the fight needed, for our life.

Ageing to me, is a crock of shit!! I have known people who, even in the darkest times of illness who are young at heart and their mindset is set to "Kick some Cancer ass"!!. Their firry spirit won't "Give Up"!! I see myself as this type of person.

I also believe that healing and putting up a fight for your life and wellness is a "Mind over Matter" situation.

If you set your mind to a positive outcome, then the only outcome can be positive. We can easily refuse to accept illness as a failure, if we don't let failure put it's foot into the door and force it's way in!!

This past week my mother was given the "C-Word" diagnosis. When she phoned me to tell me, she immediately got sookie with me, crying on the phone. My immediate reaction was anger. I said to my mum......"What, so now your gonna give up the fight before it's already begun?"

Well I say FUCK YOU CANCER!!